okay – let’s begin by clarifying a couple of things
this is a description of a workaround process i cobbled together to address my particular situation at the time – i’m sharing it because some people may find it useful – this is not me saying, this is how it should be done, because of course we all want screenwriters to read our screenplays – but the problem is, there are a lot of us who don’t know any screenwriters – or at least, we don’t know any professional screenwriters who we respect and trust … and who would be happy to spend their valuable time reading our screenplay
we may know, or at least be in regular contact with, a bunch of unproduced screenwriters … but how much do we trust them? – and by that, i’m not accusing them of being script thieves or the like – heaven forfend! – rather, i’m talking about trusting their opinions on screenwriting
because that’s the problem, y’see: they have opinions on screenwriting – or to be more precise, they have opinions on how they would write a screenplay … which is all well and good for their screenplay, but may well be disastrous for your screenplay
we’ve all seen the ^helpful^ comments from fellow wannabe screenwriters when some crazy-brave writer uploads a page or more for feedback – sure, there are some who know their stuff and can separate themselves from their ego long enough to deliver some useful commentary … however the bulk of the commentary is worse than useless [1]
you know the types – the genre bigots who obviously don’t like the genre you’ve written, but will go on to tell you what you’re doing is wrong – or alternatively, there are the genre purists, who will explain to you how you’re not fulfilling the needs of the form – the done beforers who will identify one element of your script as being not original, and then go on to claim the whole thing is derivative, hack work – the PG13s who will clutch their pearls at any depiction of sex (no matter how justified), or rant on about there being too many fucking f-bombs and why-oh-why must people talk like people? – the beancounters who will criticise a script for being too expensive, particularly for a wannabe screenwriter (which maybe valid career advice, but has nothing to do with the quality of the script) – and of course, the rule nazis [2]
and let’s be honest – i think we can all admit that we’ve all been at least a little bit guilty of one or two of these … and so, if people as honest, generous and knowledgeable as ourselves can’t be trusted to give a useful opinion, then who are we to trust?
professional readers
problem solved! – right? – sure, as long as you’ve got the money for it
well, i thought so – at first – so i tried the Black List – and being a fan of the scientific method, i didn’t do it just once, but three times on the exact, same script – the results were … mixed – which is what you’d expect, what with “art” being subjective blah blah blah – however i found the feedback in the evaluations to be vague, contradictory and not of much use – now this might well be because i’m an egotistical moron, but i’ll let you be the judge – you can read the evaluations and my comments/questions here (the post contains some other bits-of-business, so you’ll need to scroll down to the second image to read about the evaluations): REVIEW OF MY THE BLACK LIST EVALUATIONS [3]
now this isn’t intended to dis the Black List or any other business offering a similar service, or even professional readers in general – but from what i’ve read on teh facebook and elsewhere, this appears to be a common issue across all such services – with no real solution in sight
side note – since writing the first draft of this post way back 2022 (i’ve been busy, okay), things have become slightly more shit, with the introduction of Generative A.I. – so now, we have two additional concerns – one, that our script won’t even be read and/or reviewed by an actual human being (leaving aside issues of whether or not the human knows what they’re talking about), and – two, our screenplay being scraped to train some piece-of-shit plagiarism bot
another side note – slightly off topic – this is more about getting your script discovered, than getting feedback on a draft – the people at ScriptHop have something called the Gauntlet in which you submit your screenplay (and logline, hook & short synopsis) to be read by seven (7!) industry insiders – now these insiders are only required to read the first 20-pages, but if they like what they read, there’s no rule preventing them from reading the whole thing – and then, all being well, your script can be escalated up to the next level in the Gauntlet etcetera and so on – now there’s lots of bells-and-whistles within the process, too much to get into here, but if you’re vaguely interested, click on the link for the full presentation – personally, i think it’s something worth considering … if you are in possession of a completed script and US $380 (which is about $570 if you’re living in the land of Oz) – and there’s the rub – while i currently have a few “completed scripts” i’d like to see “gauntleted”, i don’t have a spare couple of grand lying about to invest in it
so what’s my idea?
disappointed with the lack of actionable feedback, i was reminded of the research we’d do in my old job in design and advertising (we’ve all done things we’re not proud of) – if, for example, we were developing a new design for a can of beans, TV ad, or whatever, we would present the client with a number of options, from which a short list would eventually be selected to be put out for research – the research subjects were, of course, not designers or advertising people or marketers, but a selection of people from the target market
many studios do something similar, holding test screenings of (almost) completed movies, before releasing the final cut out into the market
and so i decided i needed to draw upon one of my most precious resources: friends and family …
yeah, yeah, yeah … i know what you’re thinking – what the fuck do friends and family (F&F) know about screenwriting?! – to which i answer: hopefully nothing
because i’m not interested in learning what they think about structure or formatting or wotevs – that’s my business – it’s up to me to get that shit right
i’ve spent years (decades!) reading screenplays, reading how-to books and blogs, watching how-to videos, listening to pods … all the while writing pages-and-pages of screenplay … if i don’t know how to put a scene down on paper by now, then i should cut my losses and go find another passion [4]
however what i am interested in is, are they entertained?
everything else is secondary – everything else can be fixed (usually) – but if the story doesn’t entertain, then you’ve got nothing, zilch, nada
and entertaining someone over the two-or-more hours it takes them to read a script, is no small task – to keep someone who has never read a screenplay (with its weird formatting and ugly font) interested and engaged, is really, really difficult
sure there are other things, details, i want to learn from my readers, but these are all related to trying to figure out how to make the screenplay work better and so, hopefully, be more entertaining
but F&F will tell just tell you what they think you want/need to hear, you’ll say – and this does happen and is an issue – which is why i’ve tried to create a process that seeks to minimise the chances of this happening … and, if it does, hopefully helps me to identify when it is happening – the fact that I know these people, helps
the process
the process is broken up into about six stages (there is some overlap):
• selecting my readers from among my F&F
• requesting their help
• briefing and education
• delivering the screenplay
• the interview and getting feedback
• thanks
selecting my readers
not everyone in my F&F group are both up to the task and willing to help – some may be enthusiastic to help, but (say) aren’t into the sort of thing i’m writing [5] – while others may be omnivorous cinephiles, but feel that they aren’t knowledgeable enough to be of assistance – and others are just too damn busy
i also need to select people with whom my relationship is both open and secure enough for them to be honest with me – a difference of opinion over a draft screenplay is not something worth losing a relationship over
i want at least three different readers and preferably more – in the past, i liked to have at least six or more
and i try to select people from among my F&F who have different life experiences, different interests etc – this can be difficult and is something i worry about as an old, white, cis male – not because i’m trying to be “woke”, but because i am (within the constraints of the story) trying to write for the widest audience possible … small-minded, reactionary dipshits excepted
side note – since 2021 i’ve run this process seven times on full-length feature scripts, and a few times on various short scripts – over that time, finding willing readers with enough time, has become harder – that’s probably my fault – i got greedy and asked for input too many times – so, i’ll be a little more judicious with my requests in the future
requesting help
once i’ve got my list of readers, i gently sound them out to see if they may be interested – i don’t ask them directly, but instead drop the need for readers for my script into conversation – if they’re interested, then in most cases they’ll volunteer without needing to be asked – but in some cases i may need to encourage them with something like, “you’re into this kind of stuff, i bet you’d have a really interesting take on this” – if they perk up and show an interest, all good – but if they don’t respond, i move on to another topic
now there’s a couple of reasons i don’t ask them directly – one, to avoid “ambushing” them with the need to make a decision, and – two, there’s stuff they need to know before they can make an informed choice … and a casual conversation is not the place for it
(this is in the case for first-time readers – obviously repeat readers know what they’re getting into)
if they do show an interest, i thank them and let them know i’ll send an email with some details [6] – i tell them this is just for their information, and if they’re still interested after they’ve sobered up, and have read the email, to let me know
here’s a version of the email i send:
A REQUEST
hi >readers name< ,
I’m writing to ask a SPECIAL (big!) FAVOUR. I’ve written a screenplay for a genre/genre movie (or show pilot) and I’d like your opinion on it.
Now don’t feel you have to say, “yes”. This email is going out to squillions of people, so, if after reading the notes below, you think you don’t have the time, or feel you are ‘unqualified’ to offer an opinion, that’s fine. No problemo.
So what does this favour involve?
Well, first I guess you need to know what movie is about, so you can decide on whether or not the screenplay is something that you might be interested in reading. So here’s the logline:
After the protagonist experiences an inciting incident, they must now achieve something, but the forces of antagonism will do anything in their power to prevent it.
Please note: the genre of the movie (show) suggested by the longline doesn't have to be your main jam. You may much prefer movies like Example A or the Example B franchise, that's cool. In fact, the opinions of people who aren't major fans of this type of thing may be more useful because you’re not pre-inclined to like the story. To do this, you just need to feel that you could comfortably spend a few hours in the world of the story without getting bored.
Still here?
Cool. To the logistics!
For starters, you’ll need to find about 3 HOURS OF FREE TIME (!) in which you can read the script without any distractions or interruptions.
You’ll be reading stuff set out in the SCREENPLAY FORMAT that will, for most of you, appear to be strange, cumbersome and off-putting. To help you with this, I’ll include a brief “introduction to the format” doc with the screenplay, so at least you’ll understand what the various bits do ... but it probably won’t make the screenplay that much more readable.
Now I won’t bore you here with all the nitty-gritty of WHAT I’D LIKE YOU TO DO, should you choose to accept this mission. But, to give you an idea, I’ll need you to record your realtime reactions to what you are reading. You’ll do this by marking the script with simple notes like: question marks, circling bits, exclamation marks, etc.
And finally, after you’ve read it, there comes THE REALLY, REALLY HARD PART that can be summed up by the old chestnut: “You have to be cruel to be kind”. This is the part where we get together (before lunch, dinner or wotevs) and discuss your reactions to the story. There are no “wrong” responses here, as long as they’re HONEST ones.
So there you have it. The screenplay will be ready in about a week or two, so have a think and let me know if you’re interested.
thanks for your time thus far
– Robert
i used to write “2 HOURS”, but very few people could complete the read in that time (and so felt embarrassed) – i also found that very few people could find the time to read the screenplay in one sitting – i put this down to the fact that Courier (even John August’s excellent Courier Prime which is free to download) is not the most readable font when compared to (say) Georgia, which this is set in – but also because the screenplay format itself is quite awkward for newbies to deal with
when the reader has completed reading the script, they (plus assorted partners and kids where applicable) will be invited over for lunch or dinner as my way [7] of thanking them for their time and consenting to be interviewed about it – it also reduces the pressure on the interrogation chat, because we are now meeting (for the most part) for a social meal … with the script discussion being relegated to something that happens before the main event
briefing & education
in my experience most people reply “yes” to the email, but you do get the occasional person who backs out for various reasons
i’ve provided both hardcopies and PDFs of the script for my readers to read – the first two screenplays went out as a hardcopy in a ringbinder – and the next ones, due to covid, went out as a mix of hardcopies and PDFs – each format has its pros and cons
as noted above, the screenplay comes with a “briefing document” inserted before the script – you can download it here – and feel free to use it as a template for your own briefing document, if you’re interested
it’s a five page doc comprising of:
• WELCOME and thanks
• WHAT TO DO – instructions on how to read the script
• THE CHAT – explaining what to expect when we meet to discuss the script
• THE SCREENPLAY FORMAT – in which i explain how scripts are laid out and what the various elements do
the document is (i hope) all about making the reader feel appreciated, relaxed and suitably prepared to handle the task of reading a screenplay – it seems to work
delivering the screenplay
as it is the reader who is doing me the favour, i try to impose on their time as little as possible – which, in the case of hardcopies of the script, means delivering them by hand or posting it to them – when sending out PDFs via email, i’ll follow it up with a call or a text to tell the reader about the email … just to ensure they don’t miss it
I tend to give my readers a month or two to find the time to read the script – everyone’s busy and life gets in the way – that said, after a month or so, i do followup on those readers who haven’t gotten back to me, to see “how they are going” on the script read – the usual response is apologies and promises to get onto it next weekend – this usually does the trick, but occasionally another “how they are going” call may be required … i usually don’t ask a third time, unless the reader makes it really clear they want to read the script, but just haven’t got around to it
in my experience, these laggards sometimes provide the best feedback – their failure to get the read done sooner being due to them wanting to do it right, rather than just getting it done
and yes, the waiting can be frustrating – however, the time spent away from the script is beneficial, allowing me to put some “distance” between myself and my precious baby – and so (hopefully) enabling me to see it more clearly – this, and it allows me more time to work on my other projects … i believe we must always have other projects
the interview and getting feedback
i try to get the interviews done as close together as possible, so it’s easier to get a feel of the overall vibe from my readers, but this isn’t easy – particularly you don’t want to make readers wait too long between them finishing the script, and the interview – impressions, even when supported by notes, tend to fade
i create a ‘unique’ questionnaire for each screenplay, based on a standard template i knocked together – you can download it here – and feel free to use it as a template for your own question guide
it begins by asking for a score out of five (i allow fractions) and ask if the story is something the reader would normally watch – this is followed by a question asking if the logline (included with the script) accurately reflects the story they’ve just read
i then ask the reader to recall what worked for them and, after answering that, what didn’t work for them – this can be anything: the premise, a scene, characters et cetera – i let the reader answer anyway they like, because it helps me get a feel for what stood out to them
i then go through a list of the major characters and ask the reader to describe them in three words – the word limit is new, but i find it helps because it frees the reader from needing to think in sentences – often there’s more than three words, and that’s okay – when there are a lot of minor characters, i try to lump them together in organic groups like, “the townspeople” and ask followup questions to try and tease out some details
the next item covers the major sequences, where i ask for the reader’s impressions, and sometimes try to drill down to specific elements – different sequences tend to have different purposes, so these questions vary from sequence to sequence
then there’s table where i can note the page numbers where the reader has made notes in their copy of the script – while this is about me creating a reference to help me find their notes, it also leads to comments and discussions around why the reader made the notes they did – stuff people usually find easier to talk about, rather than writing it down
and finally, there’s the theme question, where i ask, what was the story really about – this sometimes needs explaining, particularly with new readers, as their responses tend to be a shortened version of the logline – without trying to lead them, i ask about what is the meaning of the story, or what lesson is it trying to teach – explaining that i am not asking for an essay, and that it could be as simple as a word
now this process isn’t foolproof and i’ve tripped up occasionally when using it
one thing i have learned to avoid is, to not correcting the reader when they get something ‘wrong’ – or at least, not until the questionnaire is completed – reasons include:
• if they got it wrong it’s probably because of my writing (which is valuable to know)
• correcting them can make the reader less forthcoming with their answers, and
• correcting them can confuse the reader’s understanding of the rest of the script, even if their ‘mistake’ doesn’t impact it
i have found that it’s okay to confess to confusing the reader after the questionnaire is completed, and explain what i really intended – most readers take this on, and then spontaneously revisit our previous discussion, adding comments and additional feedback
it’s not in the questionnaire, but just to be clear, i never ask readers for fixes or ideas – their job is to tell me their reactions and to help me identify any glitches – that said, if a reader does come up with a cool idea, i will make note of it, so that later i can try and see if it works
thanks
some readers worry they were to harsh – some readers worry they didn’t have much to contribute – some readers worry that they missed something major – and some readers are happy it’s all over, despite having fun – to all of these readers i give them my sincere thanks and reassure them that any negative feelings they may have, are entirely my fault and it’s not a reflection on their abilities … only mine
and then it’s “party” time, where the conversation quickly turns to things far more interesting than my screenplay
and that’s about it
as i said, i’ve been through this process seven-ish times and in every instance, it has helped me toward a better script by helping me identify what works and what doesn’t – this is not always due to the actual feedback i’m given – sometimes it’s because of what doesn’t get said
[1] needless to say, this is just my opinion – mileage may vary
[2] if i’ve missed any, please let me know
[3] if you’re interested, you can find links to the screenplay in question, here
[4] i would recommend that you hone your on-the-page skills to the point where you feel relatively confident with communicating the experience of watching a scene before burdening your F&F with the chore of reading a full screenplay – of course, your scene work won’t always be successful, but that’s why you have people read your script, to find those (hopefully rare) instances where it doesn’t quite work
[5] people don’t have to be huge fans of your genre to provide feedback, but they do need to be relatively open-minded
[6] email is probably best because, as you can see, there’s a fair bit of info to convey
[7] when i say “my way”, i don’t mean to imply that i have anything to do with the magnificent meals my partner prepares for these occasions