sometime after high school i was turfing out old textbooks, when something in an English textbook caught my eye – it was page from a screenplay ... or at least, that’s what the caption indicated [1]
it was the scene from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid where they’re trapped on the edge of a cliff with the Pinkertons closing in – y’know: “You stupid fool, the fall’ll probably kill you.”
a light bulb blinked on – ah, so this how they do it! – looks easy enough
so i started writ--
before continuing, i should clarify something
at the time, i did not consider myself as someone who could be a writer
i’d always been a solid “C” student when it came to English – the idea that i could be a writer of any kind was always a little weird to me – sure, i loved reading and was one of the few kids who had read ALL the required English reading before the school year began …
and sure, i loved writing, making shit up and trying to copy the style of my then favourite authors – but what use was all this love, interest and passion when my grades made it clear that i was barely mediocre
and so i had decided to become a graphic designer – i repeated Year 12 at a tech school so that i could put together a graphic design folio to get into uni
while doing so, my new English teacher suggested that the writing biz might be something i should look into – her enthusiasm for my writing and her disappointment when i told her i wanted to become a graphic designer was, to my mind, nice and all, but very misplaced
so i did the only sensible thing, i ignored her advice and offer of help ...
i’m not much smarter now – but looking back, maybe she was what made me pause when i saw that page of screenplay in the textbook which lead me to--
write a screenplay for the BBC’s Doctor Who – because, why the hell not?
TIME INVASION was to be an epic saga in which a future version of Earth plans to invade contemporary (1980s) Earth, and only the Doctor can stop them! – fucking awesome!
a page from the script – not sure where the weird formatting came from – still, riveting stuff!
clueless as to how these things worked, i decided to go ALL IN – my submission to the BBC included:
• 26 page screenplay (first episode)
• 36 page handwritten synopsis (for the rest of story), and
• 19 pages of drawings including: costumes, spaceships, vehicles, props & set designs
looking at it now, Time Invasion was way beyond the scope of what Doctor Who could do TODAY, never mind the technical limitations of the ’80s
the cast of characters alone numbered well-over a dozen, and they were just the speaking parts – then there were dozens of sets (ranging from big to huge), innumerable special effects – the list goes on
oh, and the contemporary Earth scenes were set in the Australian outback
unsure if this was enough, i ALSO submitted another eight pitches for story ideas (complete with concept drawings) including one called, The Hound of DeBaskah 12 that featured this little cutie ...
obviously inspired by Giger's xenomorph, this little bugger predated Alien 3's baddie by 10 years! – now, i’m not saying i'm psychic, but what other explanation could there be?
anyhoo – i packaged it all up and sent it off
and waited ...
and then it ALL came back … with the polite, little note you saw at the top of this post – sure, i was disappointed, but i also had a job in an ad agency – so i’d proved myself right – DESIGN: 1 – WRITING: 0
i packed the submission away with my short stories and bits of YA novels and other pieces of creative flotsam – comfortable in the knowledge that i’d made the right decision
and yet, here we are …
[1] while taking this trip down memory lane, i went back to William Goldman’s screenplay to find the page – it wasn’t there - that “one page” in the textbook actually covered about three pages in Goldman’s screenplay – my first attempt at screenwriting was based on a fabrication