Self-portrait With Death Playing the Fiddle (1872) Arnold Bocklin
THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY
I don’t like to brag … so below is a collection (in alphabetical order) of nice things people have said about some of my scripts.
Clicking the title of a script will open a new tab where you can learn more about the screenplay and request a read.
PLEASE NOTE: This page is an ongoing work in progress.
More nice comments will be added as I find them.
The Abbey – feature
Inspired by Poe’s The Masque of the Red Death: Fleeing a deadly pandemic, a security advisor infiltrates a luxurious floating city, hoping to find peace – but a friend’s needless execution forces them to take action.
Back in late November 2023, I received an email from Craft Services, apologising for their delay in getting back to me. It was then that I remembered I'd sent them a script as part of their vetting process to become a member. This is what they wrote:
THE ABBEY was a thrilling ride, solidly built, with great action beats, a strong and steady tone, and an interesting cast of characters. It’s evident you’re a skilled writer, and your choices in conflict/obstacle kept tensions rising and expectations subverted throughout. Upon reading the logline and looking through your scrapbook for the project (which, by the way, is a fabulous supplement to the story in that it makes this very specific world you’ve created seem real and gives you an added layer of credibility as its architect), we thought we knew what the story was about — and boy, were we wrong — in the best possible way. Your zig zag through the story made us more curious as the pages flipped, and we commend you on such a stellar job here.
This was followed by a few thoughtful suggestions on how the script might be improved. Something I’d love to discuss with a producer one day.
Ghost & Zombie – 22-page short
After dying from a zombie bite, a woman discovers her ghost is bound to her zombie body and she can’t move on. Horrified by this grim existence, she searches for a way to free herself.
Below is a review (overview?) of the script by Script Revolution’s J.E. Clarke:
The zombie genre’s come a long way over the decades, baby. Sparking with Romero’s Night of the Living Dead in 1968, the genre’s expanded out in the last 50+ years to become a handy dandy hook for satirically eyeing every aspect of society. There’s Zombieland, Shaun of the Dead, *Fido* and even Dead Like Me managed to squeeze a young adult romance into the concept, for heaven’s sake! As for Dead Girl, well – let’s not peak under the sheet of that dark gem. At this stage, one can’t be blamed for suspecting maybe EVERY nuance of undead “life’s” been explored.
Maybe. But what about the flip side of the zombie universe: death?
Zombie films tend to take a secular (and grisly) view of death: once you’ve been chomped or your head blown off, it’s game over. Lights out forever, pal.
But suppose there WERE an afterlife: how can a soul or ghost separate from a body, if it’s been zombified and continues to walk the earth?
In Ghost & Zombie, that’s the dilemma young and fashionable Vi finds herself in. Slumped in the closet with a bloody bite mark on her arm, Vi’s clearly dead until - she’s so not. Twitching spasmodically, “Vi” opens milky eyes and falls out of the closet. A massive face-plant. Thud.
From the window, someone watches the zombie’s flailing awkward attempts to stand – it’s Vi’s ghost, who regards the escalating horror show with equal measures of revulsion and relief:
VI’S GHOST
Finally! Let’s get out of here.
I never want to see the inside of
this chintzy shithole again.
But not only does her zombie seem to be challenged on basic coordination, it doesn’t even hear Vi’s voice. As its missteps accumulate, Vi grows ever more impatient with ... herself.
VI’S GHOST
No, not that way! The door!
Go to the door you stupid meat sack!
Followed by more laments…
VI’S GHOST
Fuck’s sake! How hard can it be?
A zombie tumble down the stairs proves the final straw. Ghost Vi spins towards what’s left of her physical body, pissed off:
VI’S GHOST
Shit! If you’ve broken your legs,
I swear I’ll, I’ll ... shit!
Not that a ghost can do such earthly things. Thank goodness for all concerned.
Eventually, both Vi’s spirit and the zombie find their bearings. Her zombie’s hungry and on the hunt. Vi’s ghost trails it down the stairs, out of the house. Tethered supernaturally to the shambling shell, she horrifically has no choice.
Why is Vi stuck in limbo? Her mindless zombie isn’t “telling”. And – unlike in Beetlejuice – there’s no undead manual to outline the rules. Will this be Vi’s forever fate: following around a rotting marionette through a zombie infested dystopian world?
At least temporarily? Yup. As with all “road trip” tales, there’s inevitably more than one pit stop before enlightenment can be reached. For instance, a run in with three Mad-Max styled scavengers at the local grocery store. Will Vi’s zombie end up scoring two legged fast food snacks or eternal rest?
Frustrated by her grotesque predicament, Vi’s ghost finds herself rooting for a good head shot. But alas…
The Eager Scavenger finishes loading his shotgun and tries to snap it closed. It jams.
Vi watches her zombie stumble toward him as he desperately tries to clear the jammed cartridge.
VI’S GHOST
Oh, come on! You’re wasting time!
Forget the, the ammo! Just bash its head in!
Panicking, the Eager Scavenger wrestles with his shotgun as Vi’s zombie corners him against a wall.
VI’S GHOST
You fucking ... What are you doing!
It’s a human skull! Just bash it in! Bash it--
Vi’s zombie grabs the Scavenger and tears his throat out.
Munch. Munch. Damn. You’d think a girl could catch a break.
Or at least a companion who can talk. So when the Eager Scavenger’s ghost appears, Vi’s reaction is bittersweet. She rages at his failure to help her move on. Then breaks down in futile sobs when the Eager Scavenger’s ghost ascends. Leaving her once more alone.
Except for her zombie, which “drags” her along to ever greater horrors.
Will Ghost Vi ever find a way out? Or is she doomed to become a Walking Dead accessory/side kick – not just for a few “seasons”, but until the end of days itself?
Rain Dogs – 5-page short
An estranged father, his ex and their 10-year-old daughter struggle to escape from a secluded valley infested with vicious, otherworldly monsters ... monsters only the young girl can see.
The first screenplay I believed to be worthy of someone else’s time. I did manage to convince an established producer-director to read it and this was their response:
I did enjoy it – it's really cool. Really cool concept. Love the monsters and characters and great writing. Love to hear more about it, has it been out to the market, is anyone attached, etc etc etc.
Unfortunately their enthusiasm wasn’t enough to convince The Money, but we’re still talking.
I also submitted the script to be evaluated by the Black List three times. Here are the edited highlights:
Evaluation #1 – Humorous moments add levity and entertainment to this action flick. ... The action sequences and (monster) encounters are very well executed and choreographed for the most part, successfully tense and frightening; they’re also varied in setting and situation, never redundant, including the boulders falling in the cutting, hiding in the garage, setting the (monsters) on fire in (Edna’s house) and the epic waterfall background.
The unique concept and imagery of these monsters will frighten and surprise moviegoers, and the exciting action scenes are ripe for the family-targeted summer blockbuster market.
Evaluation #2 – Simply put, the script is a classic creature-feature that builds suspense well. The backdrop of the Australian farmland adds to the atmospheric tension as the setting comes to life in a meaningful way and brings the reader deeper into the story. The dialogue and character relationships feel organic, especially for its genre. For example, the scenes between Dan and Casey convey the awkwardness of a grown man who has no clue how to talk to a child. Furthermore, there is a visual nature to the writer’s style that provides a cinematic feel to the script ...
Evaluation #3 – A gripping sci-fi horror, in the vein of *Attack the Block* ... The script is a high-octane thrill ride, which is very well done, with nuanced characters. The writer layers the themes against the simplistic, minimal location … with opportunities for beautiful visuals and empowering moments. A familiar, high-concept premise which is a commodity for anyone pitching it up the development ladder.
Red in Tooth & Claw – feature
In 1933 Australia, a reclusive WW1 veteran reluctantly joins a widowed grazier and a makeshift group of hunters to eradicate those guilty of slaughtering their livestock. Only to be hunted by the monstrous hominids responsible.
Private message from another writer at Script Revolution:
… it's a great story. It held me in its grip from the opening scene to the last seemingly tranquil scene of the five survivors sitting round the dinner table with Morag and Frank. You think it's over, then you hear the damned Yowies. They're still out there. Sequel?
You did a good job of making the Gaites, both father and son, despicable. Stig a jealous hot-head, Wart and Lucky mean and unprincipled pranksters, so we don’t shed too many tears when the Yowies get ‘em! On the other hand, we mourn the fate of O’Conner, his dogs and the horses.
I like that it is Joshua who uses his bush skill and know-how to ultimately save Boyd, Amy, Nicki and himself from the fearful monsters. Good descriptions, by the way, and I like that their shaggy coats are of different colours. Even the black and brown Yowies were afraid of the grey Yowie.
Boyd's a good guy, the peacemaker and facilitator between the two groups out hunting they know not what (except for Mick, who has a good idea). We root for him and Amy to get together. I don't think Nicki would mind.
What’s also great is how you describe the terrain, weather and wildlife. I've read that Australia has more deadly creatures than anywhere else on earth. Just knowing that you have ants an inch and a half in length makes me shudder.
To date, Red in Tooth & Claw has been submitted to ScriptHop’s The Gauntlet twice. At this stage, the script hasn’t managed to move on the next level, and so the analysts quoted below have only read the first 20 pages:
Analyst 3 – Great work! We instantly feel like we're in good hands here and trust the writer to keep delivering. The main thing to work on ... is to make sure we’re getting the plottier elements (sheep going missing, mysterious marks, investigation started, Yowie sightings, etc) started a little earlier so that we have a better sense of where this story is going. But the writing is so engaging that we trust the writer to deliver. Well done!
Analyst 6 – This is a really fascinating and high-potential concept. The hook of setting a monster thriller in 1933 rural Australia immediately sets it apart — it’s rich with atmosphere, history, and danger. The idea of using the Yowie — a uniquely Australian cryptid — is especially smart. You’re combining regional folklore with horror, survival, and period drama in a way that feels very marketable.
Analyst 4 – We’ve got an interesting setting in a most interesting time, with characters that are naturally reserved and undemonstrative, in keeping with their time and place. But they all have something broiling under the surface, with plenty of potential to break out as they are tested by their circumstances. The dialogue is spare, in keeping with the tone of the script. But it always feels right for the material. And individual voices are apparent, even if the differences are subtle.
Structure seems solid. The teaser is nice and short. The first act sometimes feels like it could be dragging, but that's because of the measured pace of the people and the setting. This is not a place of the world where things happen fast, and the pacing reflects that. Despite the apparently slow pacing, everything that needs to be established in the first act is established. We have a solid understanding of who these people are when the second act begins. The page count of 92 suggests that the author is economical where it counts, and doesn't draw things out too much.
Serial Killer Killer – 7-page short
A serial killer, outraged that the serial killers in movies aren’t actually played by real-life serial killers, sets out to avenge his people’s lack of representation by killing the actors who played them.
Below is a review (overview?) of the script by Script Revolution’s J.E. Clarke:
An actor, famous for portraying a serial killer in a successful franchise, is confronted by an actual serial killer seeking retribution for the actor’s multiple transgressions.
In the last few years – some pundits claim – film has gotten too political. No, not just through a story’s stated and implied themes … but in the process of casting choices, themselves. What color and ethnicity will a character be? And if the role is written as a minority, is the actor who embodies them a member of that distinct group? After all, black face has been (rightly) disreputable for decades. Why not the cultural appropriation of other groups, too?
That’s a question mega-star Bryce Haskins probably should have asked himself, before stepping into the role of the "Trident Serial Killer". But then – the only color Bryce really cares for is green. His inclusion in the “Fork You” franchise has made him a millionnaire.
A pretty insufferable one, too. Exhibit A: Bryce’s reaction when agent Jess calls him up to break bad news: a fellow actor they all know and don’t love has been found stone cold dead on the floor of his hunting lodge. But rather than cue the thespian tears, Bryce lays it to Jess on the line:
BRYCE
Well he wasn’t getting any younger--
JESS
Jesus!
BRYCE
What?
JESS
Just leave it! Everyone knows you two
weren’t fans of each other, but from
now on, all I want to hear is how
much you respected and admired Brad,
and what a loss to the world of--
BRYCE
Loss to the world? You can’t be--
JESS
Bryce! This comes from the studio.
Non-negotiable. Fuck up and they’ll
drop you like a shit-covered scorpion.
Jess’s description of Bryce’s personality isn’t WRONG. And minutes after she hangs up, Bryce discovers someone’s been listening in. Someone in his house. A mere few feet from Bryce’s desk.
THE KILLER (O.S.)
She sounds like a real bitch.
The Killer fills the doorway. Dressed in blood-spattered outdoor gear, and a BLACK STOCKING pulled down over his face.
Bryce reaches for his phone on the desk, but The Killer quickly crosses the space and SMASHES it.
Bryce retreats, keeping the desk between him and The Killer. He glances at the door: surely someone heard…
THE KILLER
Carlos can’t help you. No one can.
Collapsed like the pampered celebrity he truly is, Bryce asks the intruder if he wants money. Thanks to his Trident income, a few thousand’s an easy ask.
But instead, what this Killer wants is an APOLOGY. At a loss as to who this menace is, Bryce babbles – listing who he might have pissed off in the last few days.
A studio employee? Nope. This guy is clearly no gopher. Was it about what Bryce said in a recent podcast? Ooops… another wrong turn.
Turns out, Mr. Menace is just your “garden variety” serial killer, who’s cheesed that Bryce has been portrayed as one of “his kind”. In reality, that pampered pet couldn’t spill blood if he stubbed his own damned toe. Call the DEI police! Or at least the Beverly Hills cops. Please?
Bryce does his best to reason with the sociopath, but finds himself cornered by the killer’s oddly rational points.
THE KILLER
If the gays can make it a rule
that only gays can play gays,
then it should apply to everyone.
Surprised, Bryce glances around the room, half expecting to see some hidden cameras.
BRYCE
Uh, okay, a few points. It’s more of
a guiding principle, than a rule.
And not all gays share in that
opinion. Also, as far as I know,
no gay person has ever murdered a
straight actor for taking a gay role.
THE KILLER
Maybe they should.
Followed by…
BRYCE
So you’re saying only doctors can
play doctors? Only teachers--
THE KILLER
You being a smart ass? No one’s born
a doctor. You gotta go to school.
It ain’t, uh, inherent to a person.
BRYCE
And being a, a serial killer is?
THE KILLER
You ever killed anyone?
BRYCE
No.
THE KILLER
What about a dog? Or a cat? A bird?
BRYCE
No! ... Not intentionally.
“Intentionally”? Hmmmm. But the Killer drives home a lethal point: Bryce is a pussy. One unqualified to play the role. Missing the requisite chops to rack up a body count, will Bryce be able to fight his way out of this nightmare? Would screaming like a girl and running away even work?
Read Serial Killer Killer and find out. A fun limited location short with just two main roles, SKK is a darkly comedic gem. Cast these roles correctly, and you’ll slay audiences everywhere you go!
Thirty-Seven Dollars – feature
A grieving, middle-aged woman walking alone at night through a dark alleyway is confronted by a mugger with a gun.
At the time of writing, Thirty-Seven Dollars has been produced three times, once as a radio play and twice as a short.
Below is a review of the script by Script Revolution’s Steve Miles:
Poorly lit back-alleys are the kind of place best avoided in broad daylight — let alone after dark. But such is the place we meet respectable fifty-something Jessica—down among the overflowing garbage cans and human detritus on the wrong side of town.
Soon enough, her presence attracts Donnie, a hardened street-rat with a habit to feed and a gun his only means of support.
But Jessica isn’t like the other marks. She has some questions of her would-be robber; the kind of questions that make a thug like Donnie wonder what would bring a woman like Jessica to a place like this:
The questions make Donnie uncomfortable.
He looks around the alley, suspicious.
JESSICA
Is it a burden? Does it haunt you,
the lives you’ve taken?
DONNIE
Fuck them! Why try and fight a man
with a gun for thirty-seven dollars?
That’s crazy! Far as I’m concerned,
that’s a self-inflicted wound.
May as well be suicide.
Jessica smiles sadly:
JESSICA
Thirty-seven dollars. ...
You value your life so little?
DONNIE
Hey, I value my life plenty. Not my
fault if some wise-ass carries on
like they carrying the Crown Jewels
on them. How am I to know they ain’t
being rational?
(raises gun to her head)
Particularly when they have a nine
millimetre pointed at their head.
Jessica looks down at the handbag, stroking it:
JESSICA
Some people are emotional.
They cling to things. Things other
people see as worthless.
She looks up, tears in her eyes, but unflinching.
Donnie has had enough:
DONNIE
Christ! Just drop it and walk away.
JESSICA
I’m sorry, I can’t do that. I wish
I could. But there’s quite a bit more
than thirty-seven dollars in here.
And with that they reach an impasse: one ruthless hood and his would-be victim who refuses to be cowed—no matter what the cost.
Only one question remains: who will leave this alley alive?
Robert Bruinewoud’s Thirty-Seven Dollars is a short script with a brutal twist that stays with you long after as you sift through the clues for answers. With just three characters, a single location, and some minor visual effects this would make a great project for amateur and experienced filmmakers looking to hone their craft with a micro-budget short built around a single dramatic scene.
One of the productions was screened at WILDsound Festival TV. Below is comment from an audience member:
This is not your average, everyday robbery and this is not going how anybody thinks ... We’re not talking about a robbery, we’re talking about something bigger.
And finally, a comment from another Script Revolution writer:
I recently had the pleasure of reading your screenplay Thirty-Seven Dollars, and I must say — it left a lasting impression on me. The simplicity in the premise combined with the depth of the human emotions it explores makes it both powerful and relatable. It’s rare to find a story that feels so grounded yet cinematic at the same time.
Twinned – 9-page short
After being fatally wounded by a local bully while trapped in her twin-sister’s body, a young woman realises the body-swaps she and her sister have been experiencing were not random.
Below is a comment from another writer at Script Revolution:
Liked Twinned a lot, nice story and nice way to tell it. Could definitely make for an interesting watch too, so really hope you get to see it made.
You’re Early – 3-page short
Returning home late at night after class, a woman finds her partner at the mercy of a desperate burglar.
At the time of writing, You’re early has been produced four times as a short. These have gone on to win awards at various festivals around the world.
Below are some comments from other writers at Script Revolution:
01 – I enjoyed You’re Early very much, sublime work! Nice blend of suspense, wit, humour and emotional tension in such a succinct yet truly effective way. Well done! Definitely made me want to dive more into some of your other work.
02 – I just finished reading You’re Early — it’s such an intriguing and well-paced story! I really enjoyed the concept and the tension throughout. Thank you for sharing your work — it was a great read!
03 – Just read You’re Early and it’s really sharp stuff, man. I love your writing style, it’s tight, cinematic, and you have a great sense of rhythm in dialogue. The way the tension flips into dark humour felt effortless, and that final reveal with the (spoiler!) is such a perfect punchline. It’s clever without feeling forced.
I’d honestly love to collaborate sometime, your tone and pacing are exactly the kind of grounded but heightened storytelling I enjoy. You balance absurdity and realism really well, and it’s something I’d be excited to build on together.
04 – I admire your ability to squeeze so many twists into such a short story.